??Why is Larry
??
This is Larry's Impact Statement
Monica Chandler killed my brother Leslie (Les) Hanawalt. She did it thru a deliberate and selfish act. Les did not choose to die that night in June. But she did make the decision to drink and then to get behind the wheel of her truck and place every other person on the roads in danger.
She may repeat over and over how sorry she is but my brother cannot. She has stilled Les’ voice for all time. His was the voice that was just as quick to speak to a stranger as to a family member. His was the voice that would ask the one question at exactly the right time that would cause everything else to fall into place. His was the voice that would sound perfectly normal one minute and change into a completely different voice the next and make you wonder what you had been worrying about. His was the voice that would tell a friend that he would be right over when they needed help. But now his voice has been stilled for all time.
Monica may be able to pick up the pieces of her life and move on. She can look forward to sharing many events with her family in the years to come. Les cannot, his life has ended. No longer will Les be able to spend time with his daughter, his nieces or his nephew. Les will not be there when his daughter graduates from high school. When she is married or when his grandchildren are born. Les will not be there as his nieces and nephew grow up and become adults. Les’s life has ended needlessly and far too soon and in the lives of his family there is now a hole that can never be filled. That hole should have been filled with memories of what Les would do at future family events. But it will now and forever more be empty.
Monica can laugh when her friends tell her a joke. Les will laugh no more. She has also stilled the laughter of those Les entertained when he performed as a clown. The laughter that Les evokes is forever stilled. The happiness he caused is gone forever. Les loved to perform as a clown for children at parties. He was not a doctor; trained to cure illness. He was not a scientist working to invent a new means of making life easier. Les was able to lift a person’s spirits. He was able to take what seemed to be the worst event of your life and change it into a joke that had you on the floor laughing. Any number of people can become a doctor or a scientist. All that is required is proper education and training. Les’s abilities cannot be taught. It was a gift that you are born with. No amount of schooling can teach you exactly how to act or how to take a simple comment and turn it into a joke or pun that leaves you wondering why you were spending time worrying about it. Les had that gift. He would listen as you told him everything that was going wrong and why things could not possibly get worse. Without thinking or hesitating he would reply with a comment or pun that both pertained to the situation and was totally off the wall. By the time he was done your problem or trouble’s seemed very small and insignificant. His gift cannot be replaced. Gone is the ear that could listen and the remark that could lift you up when you thought you were at your lowest.
Monica will try; I am sure, to forget all about the events she caused on that tragic night. She will work to erase it from her memory. But all my family and I have left are memories. Memories of Les and the things he has done. In the normal course of a lifetime the older memories would move to the recesses of our minds. They would be called up when something Les did or said something that would remind of us of his past actions. The older memories would be replaced by the more recent ones. There will be no new memories. As surely as the sands slip thru an hourglass, so will the memories slip. We will fight a fight that cannot be won to hold onto each and every one of those memories, no matter how small. It will seem; in the years to come that the more we fight to hold on to those memories the faster they will slip away. In the end as the years pass those memories will slip away. We will not be able to keep all of those memories alive. Many are memories that were between my brother and I. They would lay dorment until one of us would make a comment about them and then they would come flooding back. Now there is nothing that can bring those memories back. Yes, the memories will fade. All but one memory. That last final memory of Les lying in his casket. The memory of watching as the casket was slowly closed and he was placed in his final resting place. That memory and the memory of how he died will never fade; will never dim. The memory that it was not time for Les to die. The memory that he still had a long life ahead that was cut short because someone was so cold and uncaring that they could not see how their selfish actions would affect so many others.
I began mourning the loss of my brother les when I received the call telling me he had been killed. I still mourn every day. Each and every day I think about him. There are still times that I feel myself wanting to see if Les is online on the computer so that we can chat and see who can get the better of the other with quick one line puns. I have to remember that the time for that has passed. Not because we decided that we should spend out time otherwise but because he is no longer able to be online. I mourn the death of my brother for other reasons. I think of all the people whose lives he touched and the void that his absence has created. I mourn all the people that I am sure he would have touched over the course of a normal life. Would he have had a startling insight that would have changed the entire world? I don’t think so, but it has been said that a trip of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Could he been that single step in someone’s life that began the journey that would have caused a massive change in history? He could have but we will never know because his life was cut short by a deliberate, intentional, selfish act. It may seem insignificant that a single life was lost that night. That is especially true in light of the treats we face today. But, it was not a single life. For those involved the effect is just as devastating as any weapon of mass destruction used by a terrorist. It did not just end one life. It did not merely affect Les. It did not merely affect the lives of his family. The lives of all who knew and loved Les have been forever shattered. Those affected will try to pick up the pieces and put their lives back together. For some the pieces will be easier to pick up and put back together. For others it will be more difficult. For some the pieces may never be picked up. For all they will never be able to pick up all the pieces because Les was a piece, a part of their lives and that piece and part of their lives is gone forever. None will ever return to what was normal life. That is because les was a part of my normal life and he can no longer be with us.
It may seem that everything I have talked about are simple things. That there is nothing earth shattering in what Les did, and that they were simple things that anyone could do. But, at the time he did them, they did not always seem like simple things. Taken in context at the time they occurred they were very important at that moment and the fact that they seem like simple things now is a testament to the effect they had. It is said that the best things in life are free. Les gave freely of himself. It did not matter if it was an ear to listen, a word of encouragement, his ability to work with computers or any of the many things he could do. He gave freely of himself with no thoughts of getting paid or being helped in return. Some of the best things in life are now gone. They died the same night Les did.
I keep asking myself one question. WHY? Why would someone drink and then get behind the wheel of their vehicle and
place everyone else at risk? So far, I have not found a good answer to that question. I love my brother very much, and I
will forever miss him and love him. He can never be replaced. Why did she have to kill my brother?
Here is Sha's Impact Statement:
Our lives have changed forever due to a negligent Drunk Driver. We will never again get to hear Leslie's wonderful
laughter, or get to laugh at his jokes, or even get to talk with him and hear his sweet voice. The emails, & chats that I use to
have with my brother in law stopped abruptly in June 2001, when his life was drastically shorten by the negligence
of Monica! I often wonder if she ever cares just what she has done, if she even cares how much we all loved Leslie, and
how many day's and nights we've cried at the mere thought of him not being here no longer, or if she even cares that our
family has not had a decent nights sleep or peace since her senseless judgment took our brothers life! I just don't think a
person who chooses to drink and drive could ever care about how their actions have effected so many people, because if
they did, they would have never drove drunk in the first place, and too, if drunk drivers honestly care anything about what
they have done to so many lives, they would plead GUILTY! Monica Chandler took the life of our dear brother Leslie John
Hanawalt, and in doing so she also destroyed the lives of Leslie's family & friends!
When I talk with our niece Jamie (Leslie's Daughter) I can’t help but cry, because here is a sweet young girl who will never get to know her Daddy better, or have her Daddy with her on all the special occasion's that her life yet holds for her. Monica not only "robbed us" but she robbed Leslie as well. Gone forever are the many joys in life on earth that Leslie never even got a chance at! Leslie will not get the opportunity of seeing his lovely daughter Jamie grow into the woman that she will one day become. Also, Jamie will not have her Daddy there when she graduates from High School, or when she goes to her first Dance, or has her first love, ect. Jamie won't even have her Daddy to "walk her down the aisle" when she marries. Leslie will not have the opportunity of seeing his niece's and nephew and great niece grown into adulthood and participate in all the special moments that their lives yet hold for them. . You see Leslie never got the chance to fulfill his life to it fullest! And our family never got the chance to fulfill all our dreams and hopes with Leslie. There was so much living yet to be done. Our lives will never be the same again; our holidays and special occasion's will forever hold an empty place that Leslie once occupied. Leslie should still be here with us; he should still be at all the family gatherings and the daily activities in life! Leslie will forever live on in our hearts and memories, but how are we suppose to hug a memory, how are we suppose to talk to a memory??? Sadly, I know all too well, that time does not heal these wounds, and time does not make the days and nights easier. You never stop missing your loved one's whose life was taken suddenly by a careless drunk! Sure we will go on living, and we will laugh again, but our lives will never ever be the same again. We can't be the same people we once were prior to the death of Leslie, because when Leslie died, a part of us died too, altering our lives forever.
Monica will get to go on with her life, she will get to see your family & friends, but Leslie will not! How is that justice?? When the guilty person gets to go on living? Our family has not slept well since this all happened, we've all shed enough tears to fill a river, and yet, Monica will get to live her life, and be with her family and friends. Our family was served a life sentence on June 23, 2001, a life sentence of life without Leslie, and a life sentence of heartache, grieving, and all we will forever have of Leslie is his memories he has left us with. I just don’t see how this is justice, when our family is the one serving a life sentence, just because a person made the choice to drink and drive, and with making that choice, also too; making the choice to kill an innocent person and destroying so many lives that can never be repaired or healed. I just don’t understand why someone cares so little about themselves to put themselves in danger, and care’s even less about those innocent people who are just trying to live life. Was the alcohol; and the choice to drive drunk really worth all that has been destroyed, and all the lives that have been destroyed, was it worth killing someone for? I can never forget Leslie’s lifeless body at the funeral; sadly that memory will forever remain. I truly wish Monica could have known Leslie, Leslie was a wonderful person who cared about so many people, maybe she would understand just how her decision that night changed us all, and maybe, just maybe she could understand just what has been taken from us all. I will continue to love and miss Leslie the rest of my life, and sadly, I will forever remember how he died, I would much rather have only the memories of how Leslie lived, but instead, those memories are darkened with the memories of how he died. It’s just not right that one person should have this kind of power to destroy so many lives because of their selfish actions.
Check out our other pages! Click on the link of your choice and find out more about our wonderful family!
This entire site and it's contents are © (copyright) by Sha & Larry Hanawalt