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I have bottled up so many feelings over the years with my sister's death. Sue was very special and dear to me, and also to my family and her friends. When Sue was killed, I went thru the usual process that one goes thru with a sudden unexpected death of a sibling. Why did she die? How did this happen? Why don't people realize what they are doing to our family by choosing to drink and drive? And most of all, why don't the drunks care, and why didn't the drunk who caused this senseless death of my sister die instead of my innocent loving sister? Then reality finally set in, and each and every day, I miss Sue so much, and at times wonder how on earth I've gone on for so many years. Not a day goes by since her death at the hands of an irresponsible drunk on July 19, 1978, that I don't think of her, and wonder what she would be doing today had she lived. There have been so many special occasions in my life that I wish I could have had Sue here (physically) to share all the specials moments with my family and myself. My son Billy was born 4 years after Sue's death, and I wish so much that he could have known his Aunt! And also that she could have still been here to get to know her nephew, and what a blessing it truly is! I know she would be so proud of him, she would have loved being an Aunt. Thru the years, I have always let Billy know he has an Aunt Sue who is in Heaven. I've also let him know how she died, and have educated him on the importance of NOT drinking and driving. Sue has and will forever live on in my heart each day that I'm alive on this earth.
Sue never got the chance in her short lived life to marry, have children, finish college, see her many dreams become a reality, and so many other daily blessings that life on earth holds. She had so many dreams and desires for her future. Sue never drank, smoked, did drugs or violated the rules our parents gave us. In essence she was "the perfect" daughter and sister. She was always very tender hearted, never wanting to hurt anyone or their feelings, she would rather she be the one hurt. That's why I say she WAS and will ALWAYS be our very special "ANGEL".
To try to deal with my anger, frustration, and madness over Sue's senseless death, I began writing a song in her memory. That song has become my release in my way of trying to put into prospective her death, and all the emotions my family and I have gone thru since.
For many years after Sue's death, one thing kept tugging at me, I often wondered if she was scared, as my family believes that she seen the idiot Richard S. Fields, coming towards her, as she even moved onto the shoulder of the road to try to avoid his car from hitting her car. I prayed so many times to know if she was scared, I just wanted to make sure Sue didn't die scared, she certainly didn't deserve this. Then on November 4, 1996, my prayers were answered in a way I never dreamed or expected. I myself suffered, and lived thru a wreck very similar to my sisters, only in my wreck the driver wasn't drunk, just careless. I was on my way to work on a backwoods Georgia 2 lane county road, when the driver of an electrical truck pulling a wood chipper trailer was on my side of the road. The truck stuck me head on, then flipped on top of my car, pushing my car backwards several hundred feet and then over an embankment into the woods. My first thought when I seen that truck coming at me, was ok, if this truck hits me I'm dead. I was not scared at that moment, I just felt it was my time to leave this earth.
In the aftermath of my own accident when I realized that I had lived, only then did I get scared. So many thoughts rushed thru my mind. The worst thought was, I saw my life flash before my eyes, and realizing at that moment how close I came to the possibility of never seeing my precious son Billy again. Once more I'm reminded how precious and fragile life is, and most importantly, live each day as your last, as you never know what tomorrow will hold, and to make each moment with your children and your family count. I strongly believe that I had a "special Angel" with me that day to help to protect me so I could be here to finish raising my son Billy, and I do believe in all my heart that my special Angel that day was my loving sister Sue.
As a result of my own accident, I suffer with the effects of PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder), panic and anxiety, and daily chronic pain. Now I truly realize that my hell is in living thru an auto accident similar to my sisters. In Sue's car accident, the doctor's told us, had she lived she would be a vegetable, every bone in her body was broken. I know in my heart that Sue would not want to live like that, she would have felt like a burden, which would have crushed her heart and spirit. However, that does NOT excuse the drunk driver! I continue each day missing my sister, I still can't forgive the drunk who took her life. If people feel such a NEED to drink, they should stay off the roads and stop killing our loved ones! The laws need to be so much stronger. Our loved ones need to be protected from these careless drunks! We all need to do our part and keep the drunks off the roads, take the keys from them, report them when you see them trying to drive or driving drunk! Yes even if the person is a family member or a friend. It's time families don't have to suffer this type of senseless death! It's time to get MADD!!!!! Do your part, keep the drunks and irresponsible people who choose to drink and drive, or who choose to drive under any influence off our roads. Lets all keep our family, friends and loved ones safe once and for all! We owe it to our loved ones who were taken from us at the hands of such irresponsible uncaring people!
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This is pictures of Sha's car, in the wreck that she survived. Sue's car, however, was much worse! When people ask if I'm angry over my sister's wreck and my own wreck,, my answer,,,, HECK YES!!! It's time to get the careless, drunk drivers & DUI's off our roads!!!
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